what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
