do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
