I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
