Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
