How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's never too late to be topless.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
