ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
