Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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