found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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