And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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