I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
