tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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