I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
