Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
