I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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