i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
wow bdsm is so cute
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
