im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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