I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
