fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
