Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
