i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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