No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
