clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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