He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The Olympian is in my bed
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
