mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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