Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
