I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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