he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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