I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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