the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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