I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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