Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
