i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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