I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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