SEEEEXXX PLEASE
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
