You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
