When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
