What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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