we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
