Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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