Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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