Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
