Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
