worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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