If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
