i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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