My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
