Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
