just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have tasted many bathrooms
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
