I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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