I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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