If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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