wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
