She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
