Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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