No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
