I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
